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Vergiss beim Sex die Liebe nicht – Der neue Schulmädchenreport 13. Teil (1980)


IMDb comment

Nostalgic softcore porn

This is the last of the infamous German “Schulmadchen Report” films. The frame story involves a bunch of teenagers and their teacher rehearsing “Romeo and Juliet” and discussing tales of modern love, none of which have anything remotely in common with “Romeo and Juliet”. The first involves a young shoplifter blackmailed into giving up her virginity to a lecherous security guard with tragic results. The second involves a young lothario getting his comeuppance. The third kind of resembles a German version of “Sarah-Portrait of a Teenage Alcoholic” but with a lot more gratuitous nudity and softcore sex. The fourth is about two dumb couples trying to have sex in a hayloft for some reason and getting interrupting by an elderly couple who turn out to be peeping toms. The last involves a guy who gets his friend to help him juggle two hot-to-trot girls. This last vignette especially wouldn’t have been out of place in an American teen comedy of that era except that there is no pretense anyone involved here is a virgin, and it ends with a double wedding!

This is not nearly as good as some of the earlier “Report” films I’ve seen, but I did find it genuinely nostalgic in a way. The early 1980’s were a lot closer to my own adolescence than the early 1970’s which I barely remember. Moreover, where the earlier films featured stunning beauties like Christina Lindberg, this generally features much more ordinary-looking girls (with the exception of the leggy blonde who is acting as Juliet in the frame story, for some reason in lamee hot pants, and the notorious Katia Bienert, from Jess Franco movies, who plays the young shoplifter). They reminded me of the attractive, if somewhat slutty, girls a few years ahead of me in school at that time (except, of course, they were American rather than German and their words usually matched their lips when they spoke).

You might not want to see this if you’re just a pervert looking to ogle barely-legal “schulmadchens”, but if you want to wax nostalgic about the barely-there female fashions and hedonistic mores of the early 80’s (or if you’re a pervert, but still want to wax nostalgic), I don’t know–this is alright I guess.

“Remember, Sex Isn’t Love” – The New Schoolgirl Report 13″

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