Xmas T.I.T.T.Y. 2013 bows out on the 80’s Canuxploitation classic that introduced the world to Shannon Tweed’s dark side – and a belter of a pervy noir thriller it is too! Art Hindle’s a nervous wreck, he’s a filthy rich successful porsche dealer but he just can’t fuck his wife Shannon Tweed. He’s impotent because she’s a hoity-toity ice queen that makes him feel sexually inadequate. She doesn’t like to be touched – although she does enjoy a bit of bathtime bean flicking when the mood takes her. Trouble is Art’s impotence is causing him to have rage blackouts, he wakes up in his car and he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s been up to. Bad time for it because guess what; someone’s brutally murdering people on the streets of [enter name of random Canadian city here] and poor old detective Michael Ironside can’t find a lead, not that he seems to care all that much. Meanwhile back at Art & Shannon’s their therapist has set them up with crazy-eyed French sexual surrogate Carole Laure, a scary lady indeed but you still would, if you know what I mean. Throw in a few batshit insane supporting characters like Shannon’s creepy gay pal that enjoys dressing up like Bette Davis and Art’s randy co-worker that desperately wants to bang Mrs Art and it’s a veritable wheel of fortune’s worth of whodunnit suspects.
AKA Start As You Mean To Go On
Don Carmody, Robert Geoffrion
Art Hindle, Carole Laure, Shannon Tweed, Michael Ironside.